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Coach or Critic?

Aug 15, 2019

Do you hear that voice in your head, too?

The one that’s constantly criticising you, the one that expects the highest standards. The one that is ‘cracking the whip’ when you just want to stop and take a breather.
I hear him too! And to be clear, he is coming from the best of intentions. He just wants the best for me.
I’m very familiar with this voice because he’s not only in my head but he was my dad too. I recall so many times in my life when I thought I was doing ok, and dad would whip me into gear. I remember clearly those moments when he would say to me that “I was not hungry enough”. “That everybody wants to beat me, so I MUST work harder”. “The harder you work now, the less you need to work later”.
So many motivational messages.
Recently, since I started my personal 100 week Yilu Challenge (on the birth of our 3rd child), I’ve noticed my internal voice had 2 different personalities.
Before you think I’m losing my mind or have developed a Dissociative Identity Disorder, I just mean that my internal voice has 2 distinct characters.
You see, sometimes I hear the critical voice. The one that I’m most familiar with. The one that often includes in his dialogue the words……
  • should have by now……
  • must do better…
  • …. or else
You know the ones, right?
But also I hear the other voice. The Observant voice. The one that often says:
  • I notice that …..
  • You seem to be different today……
  • What do you need?
During my Daily Practice I notice a different feeling that comes with each of these personalities. 
The Critical voice makes me shrink, I end up feeling smaller, less than myself. I feel tight.
When hearing the Observant voice, I feel lifted, I feel held and supported. I feel bigger, expanded than my original self.
I feel light.
Do you hear these differences in yourself too?
What I’m noticing is that one voice is helpful yet the other tries to be helpful but actually is the exact opposite.
At the time of writing this blog, I’m completing week 70 of my 100 Yilu, 100 Week Challenge. I’m so thankful for my wife and family supporting me by giving me the space to practice daily.
It’s through this Daily Practice that I discover more about me, I get to sift through my fantasies, hear my own stories I tell myself and eventually uncover my own truths.

Daily Practice is healing for me.
I write, I reflect, I practice.
I Be.
Thanks for sharing.
Cya.
On track 24 Yilus today, 30 weeks to go.
Talk to me on: gawain.siu@gingmo.com.au
#martialarts #fitness #kungfu #taichi #tonglong #southernprayingmantis #KungFuPerth #TaiChiPerth #GingMo #PracticalMethod #PushHands #KungFuKidVlogs #ChenZhongHua #GingMoLionDance #GingMoSchoolsProgram #GingMoPlayFu #GawainSiu #PlayFu #SkillsForLife #DaQingShan #GingMoKune #GingMo #GawainSue #dailypracticeproject

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